Rethinking My Purpose.

I’m one of those people who thinks a lot. Sometimes…well most of the time, about some really random things.
My recent thinking has brought to surface some things that I am dealing with when it comes to what my purpose is as a young, single, Christian woman. One word comes to mind…waiting.

Now, this word waiting is not a new thing in my life. I’m a 24 year old graduate student who has never been in a serious relationship. I’m at the point in my life where all my friends are getting engaged and married within the same calendar year…and let me tell you, it’s not easy.

Please don’t feel sorry me, just hear me out. Our Christian culture, I believe, places a great deal of emphasis on relationships. I have prayed for God to write my love story and have cried many nights over my lack of even experiencing a love story.

But even in knowing and having to be reminded daily that God is faithful and loves me more than anyone in the universe ever could…I still have faced, seen, heard, and felt an incredible amount of pressure from the Christian community towards relationships and ultimately marriage. Girls seem to always be praised when they have found their dream guy. But when they still have yet to find ‘’Mr. Right’’ or ‘’Prince Charming,’’ they are told that God’s going to bring a man into their lives —as if the sole purpose of their lives is to get married.

So, here’s the question I have been rethinking in my head…how do I respond to this? I know people ‘mean well’ and they ask because they love me (especially mothers, grandmothers and aunts) but how do I respond without sounding or feeling jealous or bitter?

I mentioned earlier that girls always seemed to be praised when they have found their dream guy and those of us who haven’t…well, we just haven’t.

I feel that Christian communities tend to be sometimes unsupportive of single women. It seems like the very people who should be inspiring us to live a life completely devoted to Christ are the ones who severely lower our self-esteem, which in turn leads us to believe that we need to be married to be complete.

I found a book on Amazon listed under ‘Christian and Religious Books’, entitled, Getting Serious About Getting Married. I was shocked to read,

The belief that remaining single is legitimate and godly is a work of the devil. Read that again: Satan dishonors marriage by fooling us into believing that singleness is okay (page 43).

…men and women who are not connected in marriage are like the mutilated members of a mangled body (page 28).

Wait?! What?! Did that just say what I think it said? This book is saying that there is no way for a woman to glorify God other than getting married.

Are you kidding? Messages like this can lead many Christian women to settle for men who are mediocre and self-centered, just so they can supposedly fulfill God’s will.

Single women should not let their lives be consumed by their apparent “need” to find a guy. We should be concerned with devoting our lives to Jesus and serving Him faithfully. There is a song by John Waller called ‘While I’m Waiting’. Let these lyrics be an encouragement for you:

I will move ahead, bold and confident
Taking every step in obedience
While I’m waiting I will serve You
While I’m waiting I will worship
While I’m waiting I will not faint
I’ll be running the race
Even while I wait.

My purpose is not to fall into a slump of misery if I haven’t found my dream guy yet. My heart should be enlivened and grow deeper in my relationship with God. If I happen to fall in love with a great man, oh how blessed that man will be! Haha! But he will find me as someone who is devoted to her Lord first and foremost. If I don’t, that’s fine too, because my relationship with God is enough and provides me with the everlasting fulfillment that no human relationship can. My singleness is a journey, not a trapped prison. It’s growing in my trust of the Lord and believing and knowing He has a plan for me. Rather single or married, it won’t matter.

Is singleness a blessing in your life? Is it a burden? How will you be rethinking your purpose?

Check out more from an awesome blog called Our Single Purpose

Mentoring.


When I saw this comic, I chuckled. To be honest, I have always thought of mentoring as something that was ‘Out of this world’ in terms of amazing and important. Something only reachable for those who do things that as ‘out of this world’. I’ve always heard of others in ‘mentoring programs’ for pastors, politicians, or business owners. But let me be the first to say, I am wrong to even think that. Mentoring is crucial.

We each have people in our lives who have are best interest at heart. They push us. Push us to do better. People who are good at pushing us are everywhere, good or bad. They can use love and kindness or they can use fear and confusion. Same goes with using grace or guilt but the cool thing is many times the end result is the same….we’re better. Somehow we do better.

I have always had people in my life that push me. Since elementary school I’ve had people around me to push me on both sides. Good. Bad. Now my only set back is that I can be pushed all day long, but its not going to change me as a person. I can DO something different because someone pushed me or motivated me to do it, but at the end of the day…I haven’t changed myself. I haven’t become better.I need someone in my life to challenge me to become better. Now don’t get me wrong, I think I’ll always have people to push me. I need that. I need pushers, influencers, motivators.

But let me say that everyone should pray that God will lead us to a person who can be a mentor. I know that here I am talking about people needing to be mentored and I myself do not have a mentor in my life.

Yet.

But the least I can do is start pouring into others lives. To challenge.
To love. To support. To pray for. To teach. To Push. To motivate. To accept. To mentor. A mentor not only pushes us to change, but they cause us to become better people.

Now, since I do not have a mentor in my life right now, I have come up with a short answer to the question, “What do you look for in a mentor?”

I’m only going to list a couple things because some things are obvious (like godliness, caring, passionate, trustworthy, faithful):

*Authentic–Being genuine is so important to me. To everyone I believe.
Just be legit. [go ahead…”step to the rhythm of a sho-nuff winner(winner); I been here before, i ain’t no beginner(word)”] =)Name that tune.

*Accessible–Some mentors have to be put into different categories, but ultimately I think being available is important. If your going to mentor someone, make sure are able to physically meet. Don’t have people struggle to get lunch with you. I’m not saying drop everything you have to do, but keep up with it. Doesn’t have to be everyday or even every week, but be intentional about making them a priority.

*Experienced (doesn’t necessarily mean ‘old’ though)–I want to learn. Others want to learn. From your experiences. Things that have worked for you and things that have completely bombed. And in your experiences, God has kept you teachable and has brought you through to mentor and tell others your journey.

*Humility–Basically, humility in and of itself will not only attract others to you, but will fuel these other qualities.

So there you have it. whew! That was some short answer…[sorry if you were expecting one or two words.]

I can only hope that I can say that my mentor(s), has caused me to BECOME someone different, or that someone could say that about me.

The most believable person in the world is the person who you know has your best interest at heart. -John Dickson

So true.

How about you? Are there influencers and motivators in your life? Has God placed a mentor in your life? If he hasn’t, start praying and ask God to show you who you could begin mentoring. They will become a different person as a result of your intentional, loving involvement in their life.

Mentor. Mentor. Mentor.

Pursuing Christ. Creating Art.

PURSUING CHRIST.CREATING ART. from Floodgate Productions on Vimeo.

One of the partners at Floodgate Productions (Gary Molander) has written a book for artists who are also pursuing a life of faith in Christ. Head over to GaryMo.com for more information.Pursuing Christ. Creating Art. is a series of faith-based explorations into the overlap between life as a Christ-follower, and life as an artist. It's going to be an AMAZING read and I look forward to writing my contemplations about Gary's new book. About our Creator, faith, creativity, art, life, and everything in between.

So go and pre-order Gary's book, Pursuing Christ. Creating Art. It's going to be great and I'm confident that God has placed this on Gary's heart for His purpose....for such a time as this.